Hayward’s colossal collection of giant people

Do you know the Muffler Man? He lives on National Avenue in Hayward, looming large over the driveway of Bruce Kennedy’s Bell Plastics company, along with several friends — a twin Muffler Man, a cowboy, Santa, a couple of dinosaurs, two Doggie Diner heads, a Statue of Liberty, a Bob’s Big Boy gone bad and a giant chile pepper. Just to name a few.

And you can totally stop by the building in this industrial area of town, see them and feel really small in this “Land of the Giants” meets “Land of the Lost.” Say hi to Kennedy and get a mini tour of the fiberglass titans, if he’s not too busy that day.

“People come by all the time,” says a normal-human-sized Bruce, dwarfed by his main Muffler Man (aka Big Mike). “We have people come from all over the country. We have them sign a guest book in the office.”

Indeed, these awesome icons of Americana have quite a following with fans of kitschy collectibles everywhere. No shrinking violets, these imposing figures were one-time sentries outside restaurants, museums and automotive shops (hence the “Muffler Man” moniker) across the U.S. from the 1960s on up. Big Mike was Kennedy’s first purchase in 2011. He once stood on Mission Boulevard, first outside Morris Car Wash and later at the old TyrTreds shop.

“I remember passing by Big Mike when I was, like, 8 years old,” Kennedy says. “He was a fixture in Hayward.”

But when he bought Mike, the 20-foot giant was in pretty bad shape. So he was trucked over to Kennedy’s shop in pieces — a torso here, a head there — then slowly patched up and restored with a fresh coat of paint.

Kennedy then went on to amass his band of behemoths in the fashion of a rabid collector of Hummel figurines. Except you can’t put these guys on a china cabinet shelf. Unless your china cabinet is the size of an airplane hangar.

“After Mike, then I saw the cowboy for sale. He was from Missouri,” Kennedy says. “Then I found Santa on eBay. The dinosaurs came from Houston, from in front of a natural history museum. A guy wandered in here one day and told me about a friend who had one of the Doggie Diner heads, so I got one about a year ago. Then another one in May. I’ll be putting one up next to the cowboy, once I find a part for the support mechanism. And I have a Uniroyal gal who’s out right now at the beauty shop, being painted.”

Don’t forget the Bob’s Big Boy from the old restaurant chain. This one’s a little different, though. “He came with brass knuckles and earrings,” Kennedy says. “He was hanging out at an artsy-type Internet place. We’re gonna give him a new paint job, but the knuckles and earrings will stay. He’s the Bad Boy now.”

There’s more inside the office, too, where he has a Turok the Dinosaur Hunter — believed to be from a San Diego Comic-Con — but they can’t attach Turok’s left arm, or it’ll block the door. And in a back room, there’s an odd cache of smaller figures — a couple of Buddhas, a Ganesh and the Pep Boys.

No doubt Big Mike and friends probably roam around at night and make colossal amounts of mischief.

“Oh, I’m sure they do,” says office manager Amy Wells, glancing sideways at Turok. She clearly knows more than she’s telling.

And the collection is far from complete. Kennedy’s always on the lookout for new additions, he says: “If someone has a Muffler Man — the Viking version — feel free to send him on over.”

Contact Angela Hill at ahill@bayareanewsgroup.com, or follow her on Twitter @GiveEmHill.